Wednesday, December 21, 2011

ALMOST the best Christmas present ever.

Time is flying by.  I can't believe Christmas is here and it's been almost 4 1/2 months since we saw our little mans face for the first time.  

Lane got home from work yesterday and said, "Well, what do you want for Christmas... because what I wanted to get you fell through."  

He didn't want to tell me.  I kept asking.

He had contacted our agency and asked if there was any way to get me out there to meet our little one.  He was trying to fly me out to South Korea at the end of January so I could be with our son for a few hours.  (JUST a few hours.  Isn't that crazy?)  The ladies at the agency got back to him yesterday and told him there was no way we could make it work.  They said they are so busy over in Korea with the new year and that it would be tough to get everything together.  A meeting place, translators, etc.

I'm so bummed.  But I understand.  

So baby boy, we're still here... and you're still there.  I miss you more every day.  I know you are healthy and happy.  I know you are loved.  But every day when I look at your sweet face my heart sinks because you are part of me and we aren't together.  

Lord, please let him come home sooner than later.  

Friday, December 16, 2011

Resolutions for 2012.

It's that time again...

I feel like I JUST did this.  

Every year I write out my resolutions... and surprisingly by the end of the year I accomplish most of them.  365 days is plenty of time to accomplish something.

So here they are... my resolutions for 2012.

1. Bring our baby home!!!  (Hoping and praying with all of my heart that it'll be in 2012.)
2.  Run at least two half marathons.
3.  Become a CPT by February.  (I haven't talked about this at all.  I've been working on this for awhile.)
4. Do at least one charity event with Running Grrrl.
5. Eat clean.  (As clean as possible and be aware of what I'm putting into my body...)
6. Go to bed earlier so I can do AM workouts before the girls get up.
7. Keep my house cleaner & keep my laundry done.  (We'll see about this one.)
8. Be better with money... seriously!
9.  Pay off credit cards.  This is gonna happen!  Exciting!
10.  Less TV, less computer time, more reading!

I think these are pretty reasonable.  Can't wait to see what I accomplish and when.  I'm so excited for a new year!  Also this year, I turn 30!!!!!!!!  Crazy.  I'm actually really excited about this.  I had a talk with my sister in law last night.  We talked about how women in their thirties are actually cool.  You can still be stylish and cute and fun but you've got more shiz figured out than you did in your twenties.  Sounds good to me!  

Here's to 2012!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Prayers please...

In the past few weeks we've gotten a few updates on our little man.  He's doing soo great.  He's healthy.  He's growing.  He's changing.  He's looking absolutely adorable.  He's looking more like a little boy than a baby and I just love him so much.  

We got an email from our agency saying that we are done with the paperwork on our side and now we WAIT.  Forever.  

I wrote to our agency asking for an estimate on when they think we might be able to bring him home.  And I got some news that broke my heart.  Because of when we accepted our referral we'll probably be the last or one of the last families to bring our baby home in 2012.  Or we'll have to wait until 2013.  We were thinking he'd be home summer of 2012.  But now it's looking like early 2013.  

I'm so sad.

He's my son.  Of course I want him home sooner than later.  But also I just feel like I'm missing out on so much in those few months.  We thought we'd be bringing him home at 18 months old.  Now he might be over two years old and that makes such a huge difference.  In those months babies turn into kids.  They become so much more independent.  

So please pray with me friends.  Pray that 2012 will be our year!!!  I know God has plans for us.  My heart is hurting for our precious boy and I want him home!  Anything is possible with prayer.  

I knew this would be hard but I didn't expect to love this little someone so much.  I didn't know I'd love him like he was my own before I even held him in my arms.  He is part of of me and I adore him.  

Pray him home!!!