Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Winter Beach Day.

How lucky are we? 80 degrees in winter. So nice. The girls and I went to the beach yesterday... It was so much fun.

How is Claire's model pose?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

How awesome is Lane?!?

REALLY awesome.

This last weekend he accomplished something that I will probably never accomplish. I'd love to do it... but it's highly unlikely.

He ran 53.5 miles... on trails... up mountains... down mountains... all day long... and into the night...

He ran an ultra marathon.

His goal was to finish. And of course... he did. Lane is really good at finishing the things he starts. I love that about him, because I'm pretty much the opposite.

Our weekend started with hours upon hours of sitting in traffic. We were so excited to get away for the weekend, since we never ever get away for more than a few hours. Thanks to my amazing parents we got an entire weekend away. But as we got into LA we hit traffic and we were stuck for hours... Lane ended up getting to bed late, which was a bummer since he'd be waking up at 3:30 to get ready for his race. But he slept... for a few hours... We got up, got ready and headed over to the race. We sat in the car, in the dark and talked about how he was feeling. He was nervous and excited and anxious to get going...

We walked over to the starting line and few minutes later I cheered for Lane as he took off running.

Alright. He was gone. I prayed for him several times throughout the day. I just wanted him to finish. I knew if he didn't he'd be soo incredibly disappointed.

So I spent the day all by myself, which felt soo strange. I went shopping, went to the movies, sat and read, ate out. All alone. It was bizarre. I haven't been alone like that for over three years. It was nice but I definitely missed my girls and I missed Lane.

Around 5:00 pm I headed back over to the race. I wasn't sure what time he'd be coming in... but I figured around 6:00. I just wanted to make sure that I was right there when he crossed the finish line. It was pretty cold. I was bundled up sitting in a chair... just waiting... along with a bunch of other people. During races like this one person will cross the finish line every 20 minutes or even every hour. Everyone is so spread out up there in the mountains. So each time I saw a little tiny light (they were wearing head lamps) heading down the mountain I prayed that it was Lane. Hours passed. Finally at 8:30 pm I saw a little light headed our way... I could barely see... it was dark, but I just knew it was Lane. And there he was!!! He had made it! He crossed the finish line and ran right over to me. He kissed me and said, "Hi babe. How was your day?" I just laughed and hugged him. How was my day?!?

I'm just sooo proud of Lane. I'm so proud to be his wife. He is wonderful.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Amy's Baby Shower.

I had the pleasure of going to Amy's baby shower last Sunday.

It was sooo adorable.

Everything looked perfect.

And oh boy... the champagne was flowing. I had a few glasses and was reminded of why I never ever drink. Because I suck at it. I felt crazy.

Spending the morning with Amy and all of the girls that I've known forever was so much fun! I always have fun with them no matter what.

The food was incredible. Seriously the best breakfast food I've ever had. Made by Amy's sister-in-law Tara. She's really really good at what she does. I've been thinking about all of it ever since...

And the most delicious cupcakes from scratch, made by Noelle. They were sooo good.

And sadly I didn't really take any pictures of people... including the mommy-to-be. So I stole this one from someone else...

Amy you are so beautiful and so loved. You are SUCH a good mommy. Parker and Theo are so insanely lucky to have you as their mama. I'm so happy to still be a part of your life after all these years!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Finding the good.

I have good days and bad days. We all do. My bad days used to be really bad. Days where I didn't feel like speaking to anyone. Days where my whole body ached because I was just so sad. Days where my head was pounding because I was just so stressed... about nothing. I'm so glad that now my bad days aren't that bad.

Yesterday I had a bad day. Claire and I weren't getting along. Faye was fussy. Lane got home. I fed everyone dinner then bolted out the door so I could get a run in at the gym. I came home happier and feeling a million times better. Thank goodness for running. I've said it once and I'll say a million more times... RUNNING IS SAVING MY LIFE. Along with prayer. :)

But someone commented on my last blog... saying that they'd noticed how much I'd changed since when I used to write about anxiety and fear and stress. I know that I've grown a lot. I've learned how to rely more on the Lord and I've learned how to stop myself when I'm overreacting or when a panic attack is starting.

The last year of my life was hell at times. It was insane. There were days where I was so full of fear that I was shaking and sick over it. But now looking back all I can think is... I'm so glad that I had to deal with this. Where would I be if I hadn't? Who would I be? This past year taught me that on my own I am weak. I need the Lord to make it through every moment of every day. He has been incredibly faithful, just as he always promised he would be.

I wouldn't change what I've been through for anything in the world.

I've also learned to have a new outlook on life. Maybe I've written about this before... I don't know... but last blog I talked about turning my worries in prayers, which is something I'm really really working on. I know of this little girl, she's so sweet and precious... she was diagnosed with cancer about 6 months ago. She's 6. She LOVES Jesus. She goes through times of fear. She has some fears about her treatments but she's still full of joy and hope. It sucks for her. She's tiny and innocent and she has to deal with something so huge. I pray for her often and realize that the things I fear are nothing compared to what she fears. My fears are so incredibly lame in comparison to what she's dealing with. I feel so sad that she's going through it. But how can I be afraid of a sickness that will make me uncomfortable for a few days when a sweet little girl is fighting for her life. And most of the time she is completely confident and happy and full of joy. Do you see my point? We choose to worry about things that are so not worth it. I fear sickness. Scary? NO. Will sickness make me feel uncomfortable? YES. But that is nothing to fear.

I know worry is not good in any way. It does nothing good for a person. I will continue to pray with all of my heart for freedom from worry and fear. And I pray that God will be able to use me. I'm so glad to be in this place. Things are looking up.