It happens every time... well the last two times... I participate in the blogging fashion week... blogging every day... sometimes even twice a day, and then I disappear for awhile.
So, here I am.
I'm gonna write about anxiety... again... I know it's good to talk about... for me. The past few weeks have been great. I've had little to no anxiety. The weeks before that were hell. Absolutely horrible. I felt out of control and was just waiting for my anxiety to end! The problem is, when I'm super anxious I don't have an appetite. If I don't have an appetite, I don't eat. If I don't eat, I can't run. And if I can't run, I go crazy. So it was just a snowball effect. Things were getting worse and worse and worse... until I finally snapped out of it... took a deep breath and realized that I was okay. It's those long periods of time spent in an anxious state that REALLY wear you down, make you feel weak, and take away every last drop of energy. And every time I come to the realization that anxiety is so LAME. It's so unnecessary and such a waste of time. It's ridiculous that I let if have so much power over me. Why does this happen? For me, I know it's part spiritual. I feel as if I'm being attacked... physically, mentally and emotionally. And also, I really feel that hormones play a huge part in all of this. Why oh why do we women have these raging hormones?!? Sucky.
So, here I am.
Back to normal. I feel good. I feel patient. I feel the Lord's peace. All is well.
But now do I just wait in anticipation for the next tidal wave of anxiety to come and crush me??? I guess I do... in hopes that I'll deal with it just a teeny bit better the next time. I am finding that I learn something new about myself every time. I learn better ways of coping. So, I guess I can say it's getting easier. I wish it didn't take so long to heal from this. But that's life.
And it helps knowing that I really have to keep my shiz together for these ones...
They're worth it.