Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Running = Freedom

So the past few weeks I've been feeling down.  Really down.  After I finished my first 1/2 marathon two weeks ago, I felt great.  I was on a high.  Then I realized I jacked up my knee and I wouldn't be able to run.  Within a week my knee was feeling almost completely better then I got a horrible cold.  A fever, ears plugged, nose plugged, eyes watering.  It sucked.  So I was going on two weeks... no running.  And I was honestly feeling really depressed.  Like where I just wanted to curl up in a ball and lay there... ignore the laundry, ignore the dishes, ignore my screaming children...  AAAAHHHHH!  It's crazy what laying around the house for two weeks can do to you.

But tonight I'm feeling good.  Jess and I did a little 6.5 miler with a TON of climbing.  The first part was straight up for over a mile.  I was scared going into it...  What if my body didn't remember how to do this???  But it totally did.  And it felt amazing.  Oh it felt so good to be out there.  To be running on dirt and to be climbing up huge, steep crazy hills.  That seriously made my night.  I feel like a new person.

On the way to meet Jess before our run, I prayed.  Prayed that I would have joy and that God would give me a new hope.  I just feel super burned out lately...  I think a lot of it had to do with just not being able to do anything but be lazy for so long.  I haven't prayed like that for a long time.  Where the tears are flowing and I feel like he's totally hearing every word I say.  It felt good to pray like that.

Running for me is a weird thing.  It's sooo incredibly spiritual for me... I don't really know how to explain that.  I'm sure I've written about it before... but after Faye I had postpartum depression... bad.  Running seriously saved my life.  But it wasn't just that I was running, it was the fact that God gave me something that I could do and I was literally running away from all of the things that were making me feel trapped and alone and afraid.  So running to me is such a gift.  It healed me or God used it to heal me.

So this is all to say that being cooped up for two weeks was pretty much the biggest bummer ever.  All of those depressing dark thoughts and feelings came back.  I felt trapped.  But tonight, I'm alive again and I feel free.  Thank goodness!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Big Sur 2010.

This last weekend was great.  We headed up to Fernwood in Big Sur.  It was our first tent camping trip as a family.  I wasn't feeling awesome when we left on Friday morning.  I was soooo sick last week.  I haven't been sick like that for a few years.  I couldn't breathe through my nose, my ears were totally plugged (which is kind of the worst) and I couldn't taste anything.  So, I was hoping I'd be able to enjoy myself despite all of the weird things going on with my head.  And I did.  As soon as we got up there my ears popped, which felt amazing!  I was still having to blow my nose 100 times a day but I felt good.  Really good in comparison to how I felt before.

The drive up was beautiful.  I've been up there before... when I was a kid.  I didn't remember any of it and I loved it.  But it was really windy.  I felt car sick about halfway up and had to drive, which helped.  The girls didn't show any signs of feeling funny, which I was glad about.

We got up there in the afternoon on Friday and the weather was beautiful.  It was pretty cool, but the sun was out.  We set everything up pretty quickly and then everyone else started showing up.  All 500 of them.  No but really, there were like 7 families total.  And there were so many kids.  Maybe like 15 or 16.  It was insane.  I feel like the whole time me and Lane were saying to each other, "Have you seen Faye?  Have you seen Claire?  Where are the girls?"  It got a little stressful.

So all in all, our first camping trip was a success!  No major melt downs or anything!  The sleeping situation was a little out of control but it wasn't too bad.  Let's just say we had to let Faye cry it out while locked in the back of the Tahoe.  I felt horrible, but it worked and then she slept through the night after that... pretty much... besides waking up a few times and whispering "Nacho libre" into my ear.

We have another camping trip scheduled for the end of June and then another in July...  we're gonna be pro's by the end of the summer!

This picture pretty much sums up what I did the entire time...

We camped right by this little river.

This is most of us... Some of the peeps had gone home already...

We stopped here on the way home.  Isn't this crazy?  It's a huge water fall (probably 25 or 30 feet tall) that falls right onto the sand.  It's super weird.  And how pretty is the ocean?  That color is wild!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

62 miles... Insanity.

And no... he didn't run in these jean cutoffs... 

Lane had a big weekend.  He headed up to Bishop to run his first 100k, which is 62 miles.  Ya, you heard me... 62 miles.  I know.  He's crazy.  I'll be honest, I was a little worried that he might not finish the race.  He'd done a lot of research on this specific race.  Everyone who'd written anything about it had said it was extremely difficult.  One of the hardest 100k races out there.  I think Lane psyched himself out about it.  He was constantly researching it and kept finding out that people didn't finish it... or wanted to quit... or said it was the hardest race ever, even harder than a lot of the 100 milers...  A few nights before I told him to stop reading up on it.  I gave him a little pep talk... even though I know NOTHING about running over 13.1 miles.  But I just told him to go into with the idea that "I'm about to run 62 miles.  It's going to be hard.  It'll probably suck at times.  But I can do it.  Because I'm Lane Biermann."  I didn't say exactly that... but something like it.  I wrote him a letter the night before... saying the the same thing and telling him that we loved him and that we were so proud of him.  He read it the morning of his race.  He said it helped:)

He estimated that he'd finish the race in 16 to 17 hours.  He did it in 14 hours and 39 minutes!  And he finished first in his age group.  Amazing.  He said he hit a wall from miles 28 to 40 where he felt pretty crappy but just kept pushing on.  Who does that?!?  Lane.

Lane continues to blow my mind.  He keeps accomplishing these things... these HUGE things.  And I'm not really surprised but then when I sit down and think about it... I am surprised.  62 miles!  That's crazy.  That's a big deal.  My husband can run 62 miles... straight.  I'm proud to say that.  Not only is he physically able to do it (which is awesome), he's mentally able to do it... which is the crazy part.  Imagine being out there... alone... for almost 15 hours in complete silence (no iPod) and having to constantly remind yourself that you can do it.  That would be tough.  It takes a certain way of thinking and a lot of discipline.  I know I don't think that way.  But I'd love to get there someday.  So... my husband is amazing.  He's an inspiration.  He's crazy in such a good way!

So here's another blog dedicated to the husband!  Lane, you are incredible.  You are so good to us... sooo good.  We are so busy and yet you find the time to train for a race like this.  You get up at 3:45 every morning to go run your butt off, while we are snuggled up in bed.  Thank you for being amazing.  For always putting us first. Thank you for taking care of yourself.  Thank you for having goals and accomplishing them.  You inspire me and so many others.  You are insane.  I love you with all of my heart.

Beautiful, huh?

Sunday, May 9, 2010

13.1... Done.

Yesterday I ran my first half marathon.  The Santa Barbara Wine Country Half Marathon.  It was incredible.  I felt amazing.  I felt like I could have kept going and going and going.  My feet hurt a little and my knee was killing me but my legs felt strong and my mind was sooo okay with running 13.1 miles.  I've heard that it's 20% physical and 80% mental... or something like that.  But honestly, yesterday my mind was clear and I seriously enjoyed every step.  I couldn't have asked for a better first half marathon experience.  So here's my race report...

11:30 pm.  FINALLY fell asleep... thanks to two little girlies who were wide awake and excited to be in a new place.  (We stayed at Lane's dads house in Solvang.)

5:00 am.  Woke up.  (After a night of waking up every hour or so...) Got dressed.  Ate breakfast.

6:00 am.  Headed over to the start line and met Jess there!  I was feeling super anxious and just wanted to get this thing going.

7:15 am.  We took off!!!  The first mile was kinda crazy.  We were all squished together.  (3,000 people were running this thing.)  That was our slowest mile of the race because you literally couldn't go any faster.  Jess and I kept elbowing each other on accident.  Everything went so fast.  Before we knew it we hit the 2 mile mark, and then the 5 mile mark.  I was feeling nervous about the 6 mile mark because right after that there was a climb that was almost a mile up.  People had hyped it up but I felt ready to conquer it.  Jess and I prayed together right before we started the climb.  And you know what?  It wasn't bad at all.  We did it and then flew down the other side of the hill... at that point we kept a 7:00 mile pace for a while.  That felt good... but my knee didn't appreciate it.  They had told us that the rest of the race was a smooth easy downhill after that big climb.  LIES.  There were 2 more hills.  Good sized ones.  But we did it.  I was loving my Garmin.  I loved to look down and check my pace.  I loved to see how much further we had before we got to the next mile marker.  I can't imagine running without that thing.  Also, Clif Shot Bloks are amazing.  (Try them if you haven't already.)  They're just a little boost of energy without the caffeine.  Love them.  So after 1 hour and 51 minutes we crossed the finish line...  feeling awesome and full of energy.  Our average pace was about 8:24.  I'm sooo stoked that I finally ran my first half marathon and I can't wait to do another one.  I've been searching online already.  I want to do that next one soon... because I'm ready.  Heck yes.  I can't wait.

So after 5 months, maybe 6, (I don't know how long it's been...) I'm sooo obsessed with running... still.  I've finally found something that I love and that I can't wait to do when I get up in the morning.  I feel so blessed to be able to run.  I'm so thankful that God gave me something that makes me stronger physically and mentally.  He used running to heal me.  I could cry right now.

And I'm soo excited for my August race.  32 miles with 6,400 feet of climb here we come!!!

I should have stretched more!!!  That might have saved my knee.  Ooops.  Next time.

Running buddies!

Our sweet a$$ shirts.  Support the team!

You can't really see us.  Lane took this with his iPhone.  We were running as fast as we could!

I was so close to crying here!  I was so excited!

Hanging out after and telling the husbands about our race...