Saturday, October 31, 2009

Peaceful sleep, where are you?

I'm up. I went to bed a couple hours ago and woke up suddenly, feeling anxious. I hate nights like is. All I can do is pray and read and hope that sleep will come. I was laying in bed and looked over at Claire. (She sleeps wih me when Lane works at night.) She's looks so peaceful. And I started to pray that the Lord would bring me to a place like that. A place where fear and anxiety are not part of my day. A place where all I need to get by is the love of my family and my God. A place where life is simple.

The past few days I've really been getting caught up in all of the stuff about the stupid swine flu. My mom confronted me today and said I need to stop. She's right. The more I read, the more I research, the more anxiety I have. I was doing so well but I brought this fear and worry upon myself and I'm sorry that I did. So it's time for a fast from researching the flu. What a waste of time anyway, right?

Thank God for sweet sleeping little children. He can use that picture to show us peace. I long for peace like that. I need it more than ever.

Monday, October 26, 2009

The Miraculous Olive Leaf...

A while ago I was doing research on the flu... like I do all the time and I came across some information on olive leaf extract, so I bought a book on Amazon allll about Olive Leaf Extract. It's actually called "Olive Leaf Extract." It's by Dr. Morton Walker.

This stuff is awesome. It's also known as "nature's antibiotic". It's proven to strengthen the immune system, kill bacteria and viruses, even the flu virus, and yes that means the H1N1 virus. This stuff kills everything and it's a food. So you can't OD on it.

I take a lot of it and if I feel the tiniest twinge of a cold coming on, I take even more. So far it's working wonders. In the past two months Claire has had about five colds and some sort of crazy fever/cough/bronchitis thing. It's been rough. But let me tell you... I haven't gotten sick once. Not one time. And this is wild for me, considering that last cold season every time Claire got something, I did too. I've felt a little cold coming on here and there but it never turns into anything. I really am starting to believe in this stuff. Also, the other day my mom said she felt a cold coming on so she took some olive leaf extract and some zicam, and guess what? She never got sick.

So read up on this stuff. It's very interesting that more people don't know about it but a lot of studies and research have been done in the past 10 years so I think more people will start finding out about this and using it... at least during cold and flu season.

But also, I'm all about flu vaccinations. I have nothing against them and I don't have any reason to be. I've gotten them for years and have never gotten the flu or had any strange side effects.

So, OLIVE LEAF EXTRACT. Check it out.

Friday, October 23, 2009

The Strawberry.

When I was little I had a Little Tikes strawberry toy box. I have some really great memories of that thing. And we have pictures of us as kids playing in it. The other night my dad and I were talking about it and I got all excited. I know they don't make them anymore but I was determined to find one for the girls. I did a little search and found one on Ebay for $60.00. That wasn't including shipping. Lane would kill me. Searched some more and found one on Cragslist in Ohio for $25.00. Not gonna work. And then I found "the one". Santa Maria, $15.00. I was beyond ecstatic. So I called the guy. His post had been up since October 9th. I thought I'd be out of luck for sure. Soooo many people would want this toy box, right? But nope, he still had it. I picked it up and now we have it and I love it. Weird that I'm so excited about this toy box. It's just one of those things that I LOVED as a kid and I know the girls will remember it when they're older. YES! I love this thing.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Happy Birthday Faye Adelaide.

One year ago today, this little one came into the world.

She was sweet and so wonderful from the moment we met her. I'm so thankful for our little Faye.

What a big girl. I can't believe she's one.

Faye's big day.

We celebrated Faye's birthday with a little party on Sunday. She actually turns one tomorrow and we'll be celebrating with just family... dinner and ice cream... something like that. The party on Sunday went really well. I was a stress case... as usual. I do this for every event. I find the most time consuming, stressful projects to do and I get them done... somehow, I get them done. The theme for Faye's party was "halloween". It was my moms idea. I didn't like it at first because I didn't think we could make it cute. But I did some research... thank you Martha Stewart... and I found some cute ideas.

Faye was extremely overwhelmed for most of the party and wanted to be held by my mom. Poor little thing. But she looked adorable. And after she had a few bites of her little cupcake she was in a better mood and decided to play with her friends. There were tons of kids. Claire had a blast and ate waaay too much candy. I'm pretty sure she felt horrible by the time she went to bed. Sorry moms for loading up your children with sugar!

Faye was not really interested in her cake. She took a couple little bites but that was pretty much it.

And my friend Stephanie made this really awesome cake. Lane really wanted her to have a "cute" day of the dead cake. She did such a good job! It was beautiful and tasted amazing. And I made cupcakes to match.

I have no pictures of us opening her presents but Faye was so cute! She sat in a tiny chair right beside me almost the whole time. We took a video of it and figured out that she sat in that little chair for about eight minutes! That's pretty good for a one year old!

So all in all, it was a good day. All the kids looked so cute dressed up.

I just can't believe my tiny little lady is one!!! What the heck?!? Where did that year go? I'll probably post another blog tomorrow, on her actual birthday, with newborn pictures, just because.

Friday, October 9, 2009

A long way.

I've really come a long way.

I feel like a different person. I thought I would never say those words.

I honestly thought I would be stuck in that place, in that hell, forever. I thought there was no way out. I didn't realize that all it would take was time, and prayer, and the love of my girls and my family to get me through.

For anyone with anxiety... real anxiety, you know what I'm talking about. You get to this place. The lowest of lows. You don't want to go on because you're too tired. You're physically ill from all of the thinking and worrying. Your body aches, your head aches. You're pale. You can't eat. You are just worn down. And it's frustrating. It's so frustrating when you get to the point where you know it's just anxiety and you're not actually dying. You get to that place and think, "Why can't I just stop this?!" But you really can't and you just have to wait.

So that's what I did. I waited. You start to take life one day at time. Take every situation as it comes and be okay with it. You learn to breathe instead of panic. There are so many little tricks that get you through and once you get those down you are good to go.

Prayer works wonders. There were many nights spent praying and asking God to get me through the night, and to get me through the next day. And then I'd do it all over again. He listened and he gave me peace. He is the only real peace I've found in all of this.

A few nights ago, I just told the Lord, "I'm done with this. I want this gone. Take my fears." It was powerful and I felt changed. I'd been praying this prayer every night for probably about 3 years but for some reason, this was different. Because I was really ready to let go. God wouldn't take this from me unless I was willing to give it up and let it go. And I was.

I don't even know why I'm writing about this... I guess I've been dealing with some things in my life where I've had the chance to use what I've learned in all of this and it makes me kind of thankful that I went through what I went through. It sucked but it's over. The last three and a half years have been hard but I'm finally there. And God can use me. Please Lord, use me.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Freaking out...


Once again I am terrified of the swine flu.

Where are these vaccines?

Are they safe and are there any side effects?

If people aren't sure if they are safe, what should we do??

I know I need to set my worries and fears aside and enjoy my life...

But the freaking media!!! Stop already! You're making me insane.

If anyone has any words of wisdom about this pleeeease fill me in.